If this upcoming school year will be the first since you and your spouse separated or divorced, you’ve got a lot to think about. You’ll need to work out how expenses will be divided, notify the appropriate administrators and teachers and determine how you and your co-parent will track homework and school projects across homes.
It’s also important to make sure your child is prepared to navigate questions about your new family dynamic from classmates, teachers, coaches and others. Although it’s not uncommon for kids to have separated or divorced parents, your child could still have to deal with all kinds of questions and reactions they could find disturbing or simply not know how to handle.
Younger kids will likely need more guidance than preteens and teens – particularly around keeping personal family information private. They also may not have the language skills yet that they need to say that they aren’t comfortable discussing it. Doing some role-playing with them can help.
However, don’t assume that an older child or teen won’t have issues. It’s crucial to make sure your older child can come to you if they need help dealing with questions or comments.
Things kids of all ages should know
Regardless of age, here are a few things to make sure your child knows:
- They shouldn’t discuss anything you or your co-parent has told them not to or that they feel is private.
- If an adult at school asks them something they don’t feel comfortable answering, they should refer them to their parents.
- No two families or divorces are alike. They shouldn’t let other kids’ stories about parental break-up scare them. If they hear something that disturbs them, they should discuss it with you.
By striving to have an amicable divorce and focusing on the well-being of your child, you and your co-parent can better help them deal with their new life and any reactions they may face from the outside.