One of the saddest things for any divorcing parent is the prospect of not being able to see their child whenever they like. You and the other parent will typically each be allocated a certain amount of time to spend with your children. How that time is split can vary from one set of divorcing parents to the next.
One way you may be able to increase the time you spend with your child is to look after them when your co-parent has something to do which means they cannot look after the child for part of their allocated time. An example could be if they have tickets to go to a concert with friends. Another could be if they have to leave earlier and get back later than usual due to a work event.
Your co-parent may prefer to call someone else to cover for them, such as a friend, family member or babysitter. Do they have the right to do this, or should they ask you first?
You could include a first right of refusal clause in your custody agreement
If you put a first right of refusal clause in your custody agreement then your co-parent will be obligated to ask you first. It could work both ways so if you need someone to look after the kids, you have to ask them first.
Alternatively, you could tailor the clause to only cover certain situations, such as whole days, rather than a few hours.
Shouldn’t all parents include this clause?
These clauses can be attractive, especially for a parent who is allocated less time with their kids and wants to grab every opportunity for more. However, they increase the need for communication between co-parents, and if this is already a struggle, last-minute schedule changes could worsen things.
For example, if Mom asks Dad if he can take the kids for a few hours tomorrow, he may get upset that she left it so late to ask because if he had more warning he could have ensured he was free to provide that cover.
Learning more about how to word your custody and parenting agreement can pave the way for a better relationship that benefits you and your children.