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T. Rabb Wilkerson, III

Money and power plays in relationships

On Behalf of | Jul 28, 2025 | Divorce |

Money can be a source of stress in any marriage. However, when one partner uses it to control the other, it becomes a serious problem. 

Financial power plays can create an unhealthy imbalance and damage the foundation of a marriage. Here are some important points to consider

What financial control can look like

One partner might take full control of the bank accounts and limit the other’s access. They may give their spouse a small allowance instead of sharing income equally. Some hide money or debt, leaving the other in the dark.

In more extreme cases, a spouse may discourage or block the other from working. This keeps them financially dependent and unable to make independent decisions. Others may monitor every purchase or demand an explanation for minor spending.

The emotional impact of financial control

These actions can leave a spouse feeling trapped, powerless or anxious. Financial control often goes hand in hand with emotional abuse. A partner who controls the money may also use it to punish, isolate or intimidate the other.

Even if no physical harm is involved, this type of control can take a toll on mental health. It can lower self-esteem, increase stress and lead to feelings of helplessness.

When one spouse has complete control over the family’s finances, it can create resentment and mistrust. Open communication breaks down. The relationship becomes less about partnership and more about control.

Over time, the lack of balance can cause serious cracks in the marriage. Trust fades, teamwork disappears, and both partners may feel disconnected.

Healthy marriages need mutual respect and shared responsibility. That includes how financial decisions are made and how money is managed. If you are feeling trapped in your marriage, it may be time to explore your legal options

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