Some days of the year carry more significance than others for any particular family. Divorcing when you share minor children requires you to give special thought to such dates on the calendar, as treating them like any other day of the year can often lead to friction and disappointment for parents, children and their wider families.
Examples of these dates include Thanksgiving, Christmas and birthdays.
Put the child first
The key to a successful arrangement is to make decisions in the child’s best interests. If your child would like to see both you and their other parent on Christmas, then try to make it work.
Ways to do this include splitting the day, so perhaps the child opens their presents with you in the morning, then spends time with their other parent in the evening.
If the relationship is still amicable enough, sharing time with both parents present can sometimes be possible. For instance, if you are throwing a birthday party for your child, have their other parent come along for a bit, provided you can both put your differences aside to avoid it becoming a day to remember for the wrong reasons.
If your child wants to take their granny the present they made on her birthday, see if you can make it happen, even if that means allowing your coparent to take the child when they are meant to be with you.
Rotation can also work well
Some divorcing families opt to rotate custody on special days. So this year, the kids spend Thanksgiving with you, and next year with your coparent and their side of the family.
Things that can affect your choices include the distance between where you both will live and the relationship between you. Learning more about how best to document these and other important considerations in your custody and parenting plan can improve the chances that the plan functions well going forward.