Deciding how to split custody of the children in a divorce is rarely simple. You might both want the children to live with you for the majority of the time. That is impossible when there is only one child, as the child can only be in one place at a time.
But, what about when there are two or more children? Could you arrange it so that each parent always has at least one child with them at all times?
Divided custody is possible but not usually advisable
For the sake of simplicity, we will imagine a situation with two children. A court may agree to you dividing custody of the children so that one lives with you and one with your spouse. However, the judge would want to be clear about why you are suggesting this.
If it is just so that you as parents are never left childless, then the court will likely refuse. It is legally bound to make decisions in the best interests of the child, not in the best interests of the parents.
Siblings provide important support for each other
If you split the children up, not only will they lose day-to-day contact with one parent, but they will also lose day-to-day contact with their sibling – so it’s a double blow. If you allow the children to remain together, they can support each other through the difficult times ahead.
Exceptional cases
A court might, on occasion, consider it is in the children’s best interests to split up. For example, when inter-sibling violence is an issue. Or if one child wants to move with one parent to another area to pursue a better educational opportunity whereas the other child is happy to stay where they are. Or if older children decide they would rather live with different parents.
Learning more about your custody options can help you make appropriate choices.